we_bring_hell | (no subject)

You would need an advanced degree in Nonagesamics to realize that Harrowhark is ecstatically happy this morning, but even the layman can tell that her usual spikes are retracted somewhat. Not the spikes on her boots--Gideon liked these boots, and she has no intention of wearing anything else for a while. But the metaphorical spikes.

Aside from her boots she is back in her standard habit--black trousers, black long-sleeve shirt with the high collar. No gloves. Her hair is freshly cropped back to her scalp. Her face is painted with exceptional care, in what Harrow considers the sexiest pattern, because Harrowhark has opinions about things like that. This one is called The Chain and has considerable, immodest flourishes. She has edged the perimeter of the painted skull with midnight purples and deep blood reds, an even greater departure from propriety.

She is writing in her journal, and since she writes in code there is no way anyone can tell she has doodled One Flesh One End approximately one hundred times. She has been eating oatmeal, and by God she even ate the raisins.

Things are good. For now, for once, things are good.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

herald_ingress

"Damn right, you will. She's skilled in keeping you from... 'collapsing under bones', I believe is what she called it?"

From:

we_bring_hell

"I was resting," Harrow protests. "And very foresightedly encased myself in a protective sarcophagus of osseus material."

"Griddle panicked." Just because she hadn't come home in three days.

From:

herald_ingress

"I thought she might be Griddle," she says, and her smile is kind. "You called me by that name when you were at your wooziest. I did wonder. Um. Listen."

She scrunches up her nose a little before continuing. "I kissed you on the temple because I tend to be overly emotional and demonstrative with people I care about, and I was really worried about you. I hope that didn't offend you."

From:

we_bring_hell

Harrow smiles faintly. "I will admit I had wondered about it. I have not had many friends." Any friends. "And the people in my life have not been demonstrative. I was not offended, but I was--confused, somewhat."

"I had decided to believe it was kindly meant, but I appreciate your reassurance."

From:

herald_ingress

"It absolutely was, and I solemnly swear I shall not usurp your cavalier in her duties in any way going forward. Unless Milliways has an attack of monsters or something and she's not here and you need protection."

From:

we_bring_hell

"Physical affection is not one of the duties of my cavalier," Harrow says. "Although she, like you, is more demonstrative than I am used to. I am... trying."

Out of morbid curiosity: "What did I say? About Griddle."

From:

herald_ingress

"Something like 'we will all be skeletons one day, Griddle'," she says, and the fib makes her cheeks go pink.

"No. No, that's not-"

Ingress is so bad at not baring her heart. She sighs.

"Look, are you two-? Because I would never, ever do something to get in the way of people who belong together. But you're a compelling person, Harrow, and I do like your makeup very much, and I, well, I do like you."

And now she reaches her hand down towards the floor because unlike other people, she can actually open a hole for herself that can swallow her up.

"But it doesn't have to be in any way besides being friendly," she rushes on. "It's just that- it's important to be honest about these things? I don't know, though, whenever I do that things turn out disastrously, so maybe not, but, um, anyway."

Oh god. Where's Wei Wuxian and some wine?

From:

we_bring_hell

Harrow's eyes go wide and confused "She is... my cavalier. She is the only other child of a dying planet. There is no one in my life as important as her, and I do not... I do not know how that could change."

"But I am not what she desires in a, in a woman. In the way you mean. I am not what anyone wants, in that way."

"Dear God, what did I say?"

Edited Date: 2020-10-20 03:00 am (UTC)

From:

herald_ingress

"No, it wasn't-"

She covers her flaming face with her hands. This is not how she planned any conversation to go. Ever.

"You said 'There is a skeleton inside us all. And one day yours will be mine, Griddle.' And you were just very wistful, and it was sweet."

Edited Date: 2020-10-20 03:01 am (UTC)

From:

we_bring_hell

"Oh," she says, in still-baffled relief. "I have said that to her many times. When we were children, and she told me my skeletons were disgusting."

"It did not mean..." Her body temperature tends to run high, but now she feels like someone has set her on fire with embarrassment. "We--it is hard to explain. But I have seen her magazines and you can be assured, I am not... I am not what she is looking for."

From:

herald_ingress

She hasn't uncovered her face. Ingress is mortified.

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

Because it's not that Ingress is passionately in love with Harrow or anything. She simply wants to listen to what she has to say, and make her smile and laugh, and protect her-

Yeah, she's opening a hole to disappear through. Like, now.

"Sorry," she whispers.

From:

we_bring_hell

"Lady Ingress, I am not at all sure what you have to apologize for," Harrow says. She's embarrassed too, and extremely confused.

"I have never expected to be the recipient of such advances, from Nav or anyone else; I have no illusions. Besides, I am overwhelmed by a friendly hand or a-a chaste kiss. I am probably not meant for such things."

From:

herald_ingress

She peeks through her fingers while she frantically tries to think of how to not make all of this even fucking worse than it is, because she really wants to argue with that last statement.

Finally, she clears her throat and uncovers her face.

"I'll keep that in mind," she says, trying to sound casual and reassuring. "I wouldn't want you to fret on account of my words or actions."

From:

we_bring_hell

"I will not," she says. "And I apologize if I did anything to make you feel uncomfortable."

"In truth, I never expected to marry unless I failed to keep the Ninth independent. Then I might have been pressed into political marriage with some daughter of the Third or son of the Fifth."

From:

herald_ingress

"You didn't say anything that needs an apology, but thank you," she says, literally biting the inside of her cheek to keep from saying something like 'but that's not fair' or 'we all deserve to be loved and adored, including you' or anything else that her ridiculous heart wants to put into words.

"I've never had those kinds of constrictions placed upon me. Even if I'd stayed in London Below, any matches made would have been my choice, and not political ones."

From:

we_bring_hell

"It's not always that way," she says. "But everyone else on the Ninth was ancient, except for Ortus Ninegad, and I certainly didn't intend to marry him."

"I had a--very unusual upbringing, in a very strange place, even for the Empire. I am afraid you will have to be patient with me."

From:

herald_ingress

"I think my upbringing is as unusual, if not more so, to you, so if I'm to be patient with you, you'll have to be patient with me."

Oh god. She still wants to hide forever, but... this is normal conversation now. Right? Much more normal. Much less fraught.

From:

we_bring_hell

"Agreed," she says, with an awkward smile. "And perhaps someday I shall give you a hug without hiding in a bone afterwards for a week."

From:

herald_ingress

Ingress' laugh skates on the edge of mild hysteria. Hugs might not be a good idea for a while.

"Yes, hiding in bones, even for someone who loves them, can't be all that pleasant."

From:

we_bring_hell

Harrowhark is self aware enough to know that saying 'it's like a snug little coffin' will not be received in the manner it is meant.

"It is something of a last resort, yes."

From:

herald_ingress

Actually, Ingress would absolutely get that in the sense Harrow meant it. If she wasn’t dying of embarrassment, that is, which is taking up all of her brain’s processing power at the moment as she desperately casts about for Something Normal to Say in order to Not Further Ruin Things.

She’s not having much luck and the silence that falls makes her even more nervous.

“So you’ve known Gideon since you were small? Did you two grow up together in your house nursery?”

From:

we_bring_hell

That was probably not the one.

"No," she says quietly. "There was--not. A House nursery."

"When Gideon was very small--before I was born--there was a tragedy that struck the Ninth House creche. Gideon was the only survivor of our generation."

"I was raised by my parents; she was a foundling, and was raised, largely, by our Captain of the Guard. But we did see much of each other." Mostly for beating each other up!