He draws the side of his hand across his eyes. It trembles even worse now.

"I don't know how it happened. She was struck down, and I remember her laying in my brother's arms -- I tried to talk to her, but someone, someone came up behind me and she pushed me aside to take the sword they'd aimed for my back. She died to save me."

Wei Wuxian croaks a mirthless laugh.

"And I threw away her gift. I stepped from a cliff to end my life. Lan Zhan tried to catch me, but..." He gestures, helplessly. "As you see, that did not work."